Mothers and their need for control (yes, this means ME)

I am sure that my children and husband are glad that I a finally at the airport and can write no further lists, post it notes or reminders.  Leaving them for over 2 weeks is a new experience for me, especially since I will be without contact for days at a time.  As with most American households, I am the director of mine.  My husband is more than competant to run things when I am gone, and probably does a better job as he is not trying to do 3 things at once and only accomplishing 2.  We as moms like to feel in control of our lives and of our childrens lives – often to their disadvantage.  They depend on us for reminders to get their chores and homework done, when to be ready for practice/game time, when to wake up, etc.  Life is so scheduled that is easy to drop the ball.  But what if we intentionally dropped a few balls.  Would the world end if we didn’t have shorts instead of sweatpants for soccer practice, if our child missed bringing their instrument to school, if they didn’t study adequately for a test?  I think that by shielding  our kids from any disappointment we are doing them a disservice in the future.  The road always needs to be smooth and if it isn’t, they may fall off the end of the world. Looking back on my life, I seem to have learned the most from my diappointments/failures.  There would be another boyfriend when I was dumped by my freshman boyfriend. Getting a C in college calculus did not end my medical career. Having only enough money to afford a tent vacation gave me an appreciation for a hot shower and the silence of the wilderness. Success is much sweeter when you have also experienced failure. 

My daughter wanted me to text her with a reminder to set her alarm clock for soccer practice tomorrow. Unfortunately, I will be over the Atlantic Ocean at the time.  She put up 2 post it notes to remind herself – and if she forgets, she can have her sweatpants and bag ready in 5 minutes when her ride arrives.  I am hoping when I return I will follow my own advice and stop before I remind – at least with the second reminder!

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