This spring I had the opportunity to travel with 15 adventurous women to Cuba, exploring the country and culture throughout the island nation. The history of Cuba and its’ present state of affairs is complex and fascinating at the same time; sharing it with an all women travel group created even more depth to our discussions as we explored the circumstances of present day women in Cuba.
The friendships in our group had stood the test of time. All or us had known our roommates for at least 10 years and some of us had been friends for 30+ years. We were co-workers, college roommates, and neighbors. We were married, divorced, widowed and single. We were all connected by our love of books, travel and exploration. Our occupations included teachers, librarian, lawyers, doctors, business and public relations. We reflected on the power of female friendships that had supported us thru difficult times, provided us with business connections, allowed us to laugh harder and longer than we thought possible and provided a listening ear when needed.
Due to the makeup of our group, we requested women guides on our trip whenever possible. Although this may seem like a small ask, it was much more monumental than we thought. Our daily guide had never been able to secure more than an overnight travel trip as the larger groups that traveled for multiple days always went to the male guides. She gave us a fascinating peek inside Cuban culture from a female perspective. Although the government encourages women to seek jobs and doesn’t discriminate when it comes to wages, the average wage for any government worker doesn’t allow for the daily cost of living. While the government may not discriminate, the patriarchal society limits women’s ability to participate fully in business or education, as they are still expected to cook, clean and provide childcare even if they are employed outside the home. Divorce is common, but there is no formal system to secure child support payments. Our guide stressed the importance of the message that we were sending to her country; single women traveling without a male companion, managing our own money, carrying our own bags and exploring the country thru hikes, kayaking, snorkeling and music venues. Married Cuban women wouldn’t be allowed by their husbands to travel in this manner and single Cuban woman wouldn’t have the finances to fund a trip. One of our final excursions in kayaks was met by disbelief from the male guides that we could both paddle and steer our boats. They had brought along ropes, assuming they would have to tow us for most of the ride.
Female friendships are never linear – they are broken up by careers, children, distance and aging. We are not able to predict at the outset of a friendship whether it may survive or wither when conflict arises. The experiences of this trip reinforced both why we travel and the importance of relationships. It is when we experience both the joys and difficulties of another place that we are better able to reflect on what is right with our own world and what we need to change.